Pick a fight with a computer.
I am required to use a very popular WORD processor (which shall remain nameless) in my line of work, and I hate it with the fury of a thousand dying suns. Today it sent me down an excruciating rabbit hole for no discernable reason, so I wrote it a poem.
Nothing That You Do Makes Sense.
Adversary! We meet again. What, no taunt?
Wait I wasn’t ready, you already changed the font?
You are sadistic. Let’s keep this simplistic.
Today I need to make a list, it shouldn’t be too hard…
…but now you somehow changed the margins I WILL THROW YOU IN THE YARD.
I’m sorry, what an over-reaction. Let’s try that again.
Surely it was user error. Take a deep breath. Count to ten.
Reset the indentation, check the pagination, quell the agitation.
It’s just an application.
Right?
Now single spaced is double-spaced and I’m beginning to sweat.
I can correct that mistake, but why is this line offset?
No matter, now it is all aligned and I can crack a smile.
Another font change? I know that trick: simply remove the “style.”
Nothing that you do makes sense, but I can finally sleep.
Wait- the Boss wants a table of contents?!
I hold my head and weep.