Certain songs hold special places in our souls. A song can exemplify a special occasion, an old friend, or a past life in our minds and hearts. There is one particular song that I handle with precious care, like a preparator in a gallery installing a Monet for exhibition. I only listen to it a few times a year, always careful not to play it unless I am mentally ready to receive it. I treat this song with such respect not necessarily because it is my favorite song (although it is certainly one of my favorites), but because it has a unique psychological effect on me that I do not want to lose.
The song is “Stand Inside Your Love” by the Smashing Pumpkins, and I get chills every time I listen to it.
Stand Inside Your Love was released in 2000 and was on heavy rotation during my angsty formative years. It is a hauntingly beautiful “love song that rocks” (to quote Billy Corgan), and when that guitar solo hits waves of chills roll down my spine and radiate throughout my body. Every. Single. Time.
I like to think that I listen to a lot of music, but no other song hits the same. Other songs will sometimes give me the chills (Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap, for example), but nothing comes close to the intensity and consistency of Stand Inside Your Love. I am getting chills right now just playing the song in my mind as I type this sentence.
I often wondered why I experience such an intense psychological and physiological response to this song. I discussed the sensation with a few friends over the years, but no one I spoke with has had a similar reaction to any song. As time went on, it became a very special experience that seemed unique to me. I started treating the song with reverence, handling it like a fragile heirloom. I developed an irrational fear that if I learned too much about the sensation or the song, the magic would be gone and the special connection I feel to it would dissipate. In the 23 years since the song was released, I never looked up the lyrics. Until now.
I recently realized that I am approaching this beloved song with fear when I should be celebrating it with curiosity. Burying my head in the sand is not the way to live life when the sum of all human knowledge is instantly available on my phone. If I am curious about something, I am at least going to check Wikipedia.
The sensation I experience when I listen to Stand Inside Your Love is called “Frisson” (or psychogenic shivers, which has a nice ring to it). Per Mental Floss, roughly 50% of people experience frisson (i.e. get chills, a lump in the throat, goosebumps, etc.) while listening to music. Research indicates that music “stimulates an ancient reward pathway in the brain, encouraging dopamine to flood the striatum—a part of the forebrain activated by addiction, reward, and motivation.” According to Discovery.com, researchers from USC performed MRIs on ten subjects who reported frisson reactions after listening to music, and found that their brains had a “much higher volume of fibers connecting their auditory cortex to the areas that process emotion” than subjects who did not report frisson reactions. Apparently, these extra connections correlate with experiencing more extreme emotions.
Now the moment of truth: time to listen to the song after being burdened with knowledge.
Update: I still get chills and this song still slaps. 10/10, go listen to it.
Update 2: I put together a playlist to collect the songs that give me the chills, you can listen to it below! If there are any songs that hit that frisson feeling for you, let me know in the comments below and I will add it to the list.